Home Again

My last entry has taken sometime for me to muster, because I'm still in denial that I'm home.

I was so excited to go home, I was really mostly excited to be around something that was familiar. Yet, when I stepped off the plane into customs, all I could think about was the mistake I made.

I shouldn't have left.

The English everyone was speaking was almost too foreign to realize. I moved numbly, recounting and thinking about not answering everyone in French. It was bizarre. I didn't understand why everything was so loud - Americans are HORRIBLY loud. I woke up the next morning in my bed, and the first thought I had was "I can't walk to the bakery."

I know that life moves on, but I can't help but feel stuck. I feel like I'm frozen in time, waiting for the US landscape to disappear and for the familiar streets to reappear.

All I can think about is returning. When I go back I will....or when I go back I will eat, see, visit...it's so strange. It's a completely different way to learn - studying abroad - because it's so hands on. I didn't read about the Charles Taylor trial, I watched it. I didn't read about what the architechture of Brussels square was - I saw it. I touched the beaches of Normandy, and I felt the atmosphere of Amsterdam.

I told someone before I left, oh, I won't change. And I don't think I have - but there is a desire planted in me (or perhaps rekindled) to learn more. I've not felt this in a long time, but now I actually understand why I learn things, and now I want to pursue them.

I will return to Europe, whether to study or live. It really became such a part of me, and I'm so eager to learn more about the culture and languages. I'm ready to return.

Farewell, London

London's visit, however brief, reminded me of a few notable things

(sorry - I'm into lists now, they ensure that I remember things properly)

1. I still love Europe, even English speaking Europeans.

2. I love, love tea.

3. The English are very very amusing people who, unlike the French, aren't arrogant. A man walked around the London Bridge yesterday as a playing card, decked out with with a wig. It was the Bridge's 800th anniversary or something like that.

4. Seeing Juliet made my day/night. It was beyond comforting to see someone I know and really care about. If Ally Wright was here, then I'd have seen the whole of our dance group!

5. I love theater, and seeing a Shakespearean play at the Globe is definitely top 5 for the trip.

6. Wandering around London isn't as fun as wandering around Paris - things don't sneak up on you as well. But the really old stuff is fun to find when you can.

7. My love affair with Harry Potter has only intensified as I am reading the last two books for the first time here. Everything makes more sense....everything.

Must go - pack for Belgium and attend some services at St. Pauls!

London

1. Parliment
2. Big Ben
3. Russel Square
4. The Globe

I saw Midsummers.....and I think I might have just died right there. It exceeded my expectations beyond belief. Plus, it's my favorite play (bite me you Hamlet emo kids who can't get past yourselves to see that happiness is the end goal of life. stop trying to dissect it otherwise - you'll just end up concluding that death is envitable, and we have a pointless existance.).

love an

Happy Birthday America!

I missed going to the 4th of July - a lot. Considering what I did last year, this year was a bust. It was however, the best meal ever. We found an American Diner, run by Americans, with milkshakes and burgers and breakfast. It was the best burger ever. I miss you, red, white, and blue!

Normandy, Strasbourg, Louvre

It's a three for one. I've really buckled down with my schoolwork lately, and the passport situation has been a living nightmare for a week and a half, but hopefully it's over. I'm going to have to bullet this and give you the best of what I can because I am exhausted. I'm going to try a new style - instead of narrating, I'll give you what I took away from each.

Normandy
I will never think twice about my freedom and what it means to live in the most powerful nation in the world. The power, influence, and security came at a high price. I didn't even go to more than one cemetery, and I was so blown away. The shelling marks, the dagger cliff, the over 100 mi of military beach that was seized in one offensive - the survival rate.......mindblowing. Yet when you visit the cliffs and the huge holes in the ground from shelling, and walk through the meadows, you wonder how so much death could surround such a truly beautiful place. The wind just whips through the fields, and the wildflowers bend in the breeze. So beautiful.
Yet, the horrible reminders of war still remain. The cemeteries were so huge...I can't begin to imagine their immensity. Arlington is huge, but it seems nearly limitless of how many people died. I didn't even see all the American cemeteries, and there were still British, French, Australian, and Canadians who died. Thousands. They say that 4000 died before noon on D-Day.

Strasbourg
Not really that interesting. I didn't visit the old town full of Gothic Architecture (shocker, I know). I instead decided that I'd cross the Rhine and go to Germany. I had a delicious meal of a fish from the Rhine, and a fantastic beer called a Radler. It's sweet beer - light and half lemonade. Soo good. Don't judge me. I was so tired of French food. Saul had a fantastic steak...such a fine piece of meat.
The European Court for Human Rights was possibly the most boring thing we've done all trip. Everyone, I mean everyone, dozed off at some point or another. I didn't feel too enlightened about the human rights court - but it is kind of amazing that all members of Europe obey the court's rulings, even though they are expensive and have no enforcement. They just do. Kinda neat.

Louvre
I spent almost four hours there today. I didn't come close to spending enough time. I still have 3/4 of the museums to go. =)
I love Raphael. I forgot how much I adore da Vinci. I forgot how HUGE Napoleon's coronation was. I forgot how stunning Cupid and Psyche's moment of passion was - locked in perfect for just a moment. I smiled at Nike, climbing the stairs. It's so odd to see the pieces again - it's like i'm returning after an absense.
I was exhausted...so exhausted and just sat in the Tuleries, thinking about the art, history, and overwhelming sense of amazement.


Tomorrow - I'm going to the catacombs, mass, and hopefully a jazz club. maybe - a real american hamburger!!!

Chartres

It's been quite an exciting day - Chartres was amazing. (plus i'm in a very good mood because my roommates and I just sang Sara Bareilles. I miss singing so much...)

I don't even know where to start with Chartres. You get off the train, and literally, it's right there in front of you. It rivals Notre Dame in Paris in size, but cathedrals are more than sizes, stained glass, relics, and architecture I learned today.

The tour with Malcom Miller was phenomenal. He's pretty much the expert on Chartres, all the books I looked up about Chartres are written by him. He speaks cute British old man English - I was convinced that I'd see him later that day enjoying a cup of tea.

His tour with us lasted and hour and 15, but I honestly lost track of time. He taught us so much as a group that I can't even retain it all. He's also extremely witty and loves to tell funny stories. The tour was truly a one of a kind experience - I would do it again in a heartbeak.

A few things you should know about Chartres -

It was built in a city of approx 9000 people at the time, yet it rivals Notre Dame in size and detail. The reason? The clergy wanted to create a place for pilgrams. Why would pilgrams come to such a small village in France?

The garments of Mary, the mother of Jesus. This holy relic has been confirmed to be 2000 years old, which even if it's not holy - thats still an amazing thing to preserve. It's in bullet proof glass, and has survived World Wars, Civil wars, and fires. Amazing.

The architechture of the building is so unique. I can't even describe the nuances that are there - from the alternating pillars to the unique retangular ceiling (new to the gothic age), to the stained glass (also survived fires) to the breathtaking view you can get if you climb one of the towers. I've never see such a beautiful view of the French countryside - you can see for miles and miles of village and fields of green. I can't even begin to imagine what it would have been like in the dark (light) ages, before the time of multiple storey buildings. Chartres shoots out of the horizon even now - but what about hundreds of years ago? ahhhhh....

My favorite part was the labyrinth. Chartres was also the location of one of the oldest schools where the clergy was educated. Hundreds of scholars would teach here, and they had influence over the structures built in the church (everything - EVERYTHING has symbolic and even commentary of the Christian religion). The labyrinth is one of those structures. I walked the labyrinth today, meditating on recent occurances and discoveries about myself. Describing the power that I experienced when I entered the center - among the huge, ancient structures, the rose stained glass light warmed my back, while my focus was put on the altar that was at least a football field away, but I couldn't take my eyes away from a pieta. Everything seemed at peace. I left the labyrinth, feeling almost empowered by the millions that over hundreds of years had done the same thing.

My day peaked there, and I had a difficult time prying myself away from the church. I spent close to 3 and a half hours there - and could have stayed more. The last thing we did before leaving was climb the 300 steps up the late gothic tower. I recomend you do so. It's tricky as the steps are un even, its difficult because there aren't hand rails, the hallway is one way, ...and did i mention that it's a spiral staircase? The view, however, is more than worth it. I was pretty speachless as I circled the balconies.

The little town is picturesque of what you imagine when you think of the French countryside - narrow cobblestone streets, tiny shops, fresh markets, flowers, and people walking about shouting "bonsoir!" Kelsey and I both agreed that we could both live there. C'est parfait. I'll leave you with a few pictures of this historic town....

perdu

I seem to be doing a good bit of wandering around Paris when I'm on my own to run errands. Today I went in search of the embassy, and successfully navigated three metros. I had a bit of trouble with the police - apparently the Prime Minster of Israel was here, so there was a lock down on all the embassies. I couldn't even enter my own embassy.


"Pardon Monsieur, je regarde por l'embassy de Etats Unis. Ou est cet?"
"Mademoiselle, it would be best if you came back tomorrow, there is much going on."
"Je suis Americainne. Je veux aller a l'embassy."

I think they got my point. I am an american, move. I'm going to my embassy. I didn't get in, I was turned away and told to come back tomororw. Apparently, the Israeli PM is more important than me.

After that, I walked a bit and found the Tullieries garden not far, which meant that the Louvre was not far off. I explored a bit, and was a bit disappointed. I've really fallen in love with Luxembourg....It's hard to let it's perfection go.

I 'm still a bit lost, looking for something I can't seem to find. I know it doesn't exist in reality anymore, but I'm still looking. tu me manques, et tu ne sais pas.

I knocked out another very important museum today - the Musee d'Orsay. AkA - the Louvre didn't want impressionist art, so this is where you can find Renoir, Van Gogh, Degas, Monet, Rodin, etc etc. Masterpieces. I was a little disappointed to not find a few key pieces (at least for me)...Sunflowers by Van Gogh, Starry Night, Dancers in Blue, and most disappointing, The Waterlilies.

It was astonishing though, at how much I did see. I realized that these artists are more than just their famous pieces - they are the pieces that no one really cares to regcognize. Those pieces are just as important. I loved taking pictures (i know - but I want to share too) - the museum was fantastic.

The highlight for me, was predictably the Degas room. I am a huge Degas fan. I remember almost 9 years ago, seeing the Little Dancer wax sculpture and just falling in love. I saw her today again. She hasn't changed, and she is beautiful. I loved that I could finally see (in full collection) all of Degas's statues. He was blind by the time he died, and moved from painting to sculpting so he could feel the product. Yet, in doing this, he seems to explore human motion. His sculptures are amazing - the horses and dancers especially. He really broke down what it means to move.

It has been a long day, and a well day spent. I'm pretty exhausted. I did have lunch with Allie Roisman, which was fantastic. Catching up , chatting, and finding strength for each other's uncertainties was a pleasant and very welcome surprise. It's been a long time since I've seen anyone (in person) that I know, and I've missed people. I miss you =)

Tomorrow, I'm taking a train to Chartres, and I'm overjoyed. Chartres is the most amazing gothic structure in France, and one of the most beautiful. We are also taking a tour with Malcom Miller - a famous authority on Gothic architechture. I'm not going to lie - I'm very excited. I'm also very excited to walk the maze that is hundreds of years old. Hey Josh - you have made a difference - I wouldn't know what to do, or how important this structure is in Christian practice if not for you =)

Much more tomorrow. Je suis tres fatiguee, et tres....